i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
