We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
