I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
