he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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