So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
