i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
