hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
