yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
