I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
