Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just tell him i said nine months
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
