she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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