Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize