Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
