OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
