I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
