She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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