We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
