But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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