I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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