I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think i have two assholes
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
