Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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