Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
