I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
