How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
