Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
