i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
