Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
