I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
