Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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