Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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