Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
