I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize