she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
