do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
