he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
