Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
