I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize