Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
