I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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