Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
