Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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