Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
