Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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