Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize