Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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