I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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