That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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