You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
