just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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