We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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