i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
