I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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