Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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