apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
