haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
