i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
there is glitter all over my balls
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
