hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
