Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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