She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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