Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
