Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
